


Whipped

by Velace



Series: Random Moments [25]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velace/pseuds/Velace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Through an unfortunate (hilarious?) event, Emma discovers Henry has magic and calls Regina for help. Idiot Emma is always good, since I know you love to write her. And maybe a sassy Regina?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whipped

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a while. The muse disappeared and after a week of trying to coax her back, I gave up, got bored and decided it was time for another job instead. Of course, now I have two days off and the muse has graced me long enough to fill one of many prompts sitting in my inbox. Yay. I feel a little rusty.

"You're not going to believe this."

Regina stares down at her phone, silent as she waits for Emma to continue. There is absolutely no use in pointing out their very real differences. What Emma considers unbelievable, Regina almost expects on a daily basis and if Emma hasn't learned that after three years then—well, that's Miss Swan's problem.

There is a muffled, "Shit," over the speaker phone that garners no more than a raised eyebrow as Regina returns to reading the form in front of her. Tolerance and patience, she has learned, are key to Emma making her point and then going away without one of them blowing a fuse and getting upset. Emma, like her parents, is an idiot and that is something Regina has come to accept.

Dealing with the Charmings is all about willpower and restraint, lots and lots of restraint.

Emma likely needs some form of help, but until she asks—

"Regina, I may need your help."

There we go, Regina thinks. "Do inspire me with your unbelievable tale, Miss Swan, I cannot wait to rush to your aid." Emma scoffs audibly and it brings a small smile to Regina's lips.

"Okay," Emma begins, and then pauses. Regina sighs, gaze darting to where her phone rests near the edge of her desk. If Emma didn't sound nervous, she'd give considerable thought to sending a jolt of electricity down the line in the hope it might spur her on. "Don't freak out but…"

Regina interrupts with a laugh and Emma falls silent again. "That is quite a beginning," she chuckles, shaking her head. _Don't freak out_ , naturally, means she's going to have every reason to do just that. "Please, do continue."

"You have to promise," Emma insists and there's an edge of petulance in her voice that only causes Regina to let loose another chuckle.

"No," she replies. "I don't think I will."

"I—" Emma cuts herself off with a groan. "Fine," she grumbles. "I got a call from the school this afternoon…"

Immediately, Regina starts to panic but Emma seems to sense it and quickly adds, "Henry is fine… kinda."

Counting to ten as she closes her eyes, Regina calms herself with deep, even breaths. "Kinda," she repeats, face scrunching with distaste as the word falls from her lips. Emma's vocabulary has never been particularly appealing, but it is by far one of the most annoying things about her. "What do you mean _kinda_? Either he's fine, or he isn't."

"He sort of… setfiretotheclassroom."

It takes a moment before Regina deciphers the run-on sentence, and when she does, her eyes snap open as she practically screeches, "He set fire to the classroom?"

More voices rise from Emma's end of the phone while Regina stares down at in disbelief. Emma murmurs, "Just a sec," into the mouthpiece and all she can hear are the muffled sounds of conversation in the background as she raises a hand to her temple.

It is so typical of Emma; to drop a bomb such as their son becoming an arsonist, and then disappearing as though she shouldn't immediately explain herself. Regina has half a mind to appear at the school in a puff of smoke, yet she knows Emma will have everything under control and leaving her office when she has so much work to do is, to say the least, an inconvenience she can do without.

"Okay so," Emma starts speaking again without so much as a, _"Hi, I'm back."_ Regina rolls her eyes. "Snow filled me in and apparently no one knows how it happened, but Henry didn't actually _mean_ to—"

Interrupting again, Regina questions, "He set your mother's classroom on fire?"

Emma snorts, no doubt catching the amusement in her voice. "Yeah," she chuckles. "Is he in less trouble now?"

"Significantly," Regina replies, perhaps a little too truthfully. She may get along with her former nemesis, but it never hurts to embrace a little of her glee whenever something unfortunate, and ultimately harmless, happens to the goodie two shoes.

Certain Emma wouldn't have simply called if anything tragic came from what is apparently an accident, she leans back in her seat, taping her pen against the desk before she gives in and asks, "I assume you have a theory?"

Emma hums an affirmative and says, "You're not going to like it."

"Tell me anyway," Regina states. Rarely has she ever liked one of Emma's theories, yet she won't deny—not to herself, anyway—that Emma is rarely ever wrong when it comes to these things.

"Based on the unexpectedness of the situation and the fact our son was… annoyed at the time, I'm guessing he may have inherited more than your sass and my love of delicious grilled cheese."

Magic is the first thing that comes to mind and Regina inhales sharply. If their time in Neverland has taught her anything, it's that Henry is far more special than even she ever thought him to be. His biological mother is a child of True Love, he possesses the heart of the Truest Believer and if those aren't enough, he is also the Dark One's grandson. His entire life is shrouded in magic, regardless of what she herself may want for him, and she realizes she should have considered this sooner.

"Oh," she breathes, momentarily speechless before she's standing without thought.

Emma squeaks softly in surprise as a plume of smoke suddenly appears right where she's stood. She quickly takes a step back and pulls the phone from her ear, ending the call as she shoves it into her back pocket. Regina eyes her warily and then turns on her heel, eyes drifting across the crowd gathered in the courtyard in search of her son.

Stiffening briefly as she feels a hand on her back, she soon relaxes with the realization that Emma is merely assisting in her search as she urges her forward. The crowd parts for their Sheriff and Mayor, and Regina relaxes further upon seeing Henry seated on the steps in between his grandparents.

When he spots them walking toward him, his eyes widen. Regina can't help but chuckle, recognizing the sudden look of panic that washes over him whenever he thinks he's in trouble. As he opens his mouth to explain, she raises a hand that immediately silences him. "You and I need to have a talk, young man."

"But Mom," he whines, lips clamping shut as she lifts an eyebrow. Emma nudges her with an elbow and Regina cracks a smile, noting the instant relief on their son's face and the way his eyes narrow, suddenly suspicious as he glances between them.

"Your mother and I have already discussed the situation," she explains. "We do need to have a conversation—among other things, but you're not in trouble."

"Actually," Snow begins, only for Emma to interrupt.

"Mom," she warns. "Regina can handle it. You said yourself it was an accident. Besides, you can't actually punish him for something no one even knows was him for certain."

"He confessed."

"To me," Emma retorts, "the Sheriff, who agrees that this was an accident and that his mother is more than capable of handling it. If you'd like to lodge a complaint—"

Regina sighs loudly and Emma trails off, turning to her with a look caught somewhere between annoyance at being interrupted and curiosity as to the reason for said interruption. "As thrilling as this is," Regina drawls, gesturing between mother and daughter. "You two can bicker all you like later. I, however, would like to speak to my son some time this century. As I assume school is over for the day, he and I will be leaving now."

Turning her gaze from dumb and dumber, she meets the emerald one fixed to her face. "You will drive us," she says, about to turn and make her way toward the Sheriff's cruiser when Emma speaks up.

"Can't you poof home?"

Eyes fluttering shut briefly in exasperation, Regina finds herself counting once more before she opens them and fixes Emma with a deadpan stare. "Refer to it as poofing one more time, and I will strangle you with your own hands after I cut them off," she threatens with a glare. "As to your question; I could but the more people I take with me, the more I am drained and you, Miss Swan, are required during this discussion with _our_ son."

Looking as though she's about to excuse herself from that responsibility, Regina allows a smirk to form. She remembers just how boring Emma thought her own magic lessons were. "Think very carefully about your next words, dear, otherwise you may find yourself having another undesirable conversation when you return home."

As expected and with little more than an annoyed huff, Emma brushes passed, ignoring her parent's curious glances as she storms over to the cruiser. Regina follows at a more sedate pace, Henry at her side and a slight sway in her hips. If Emma wishes to continue sharing her bed while keeping it secret a while longer, Regina is going to use it to her advantage as often as the opportunity presents itself.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" She bites her lip to stifle a laugh as Emma groans and slams the driver side door, rounding the car.

"Your Majesty," Emma mocks with an exaggerated flourish as she flings open the passenger door. Regina pats her cheek and slides into her seat.

"Thank you, Princess."


End file.
